Ready: Action!

Tomorrow I will have the operation the doctors have been speaking about for months. Vitrectomy. Sure, my stomach is curling, but above all I'm happy that something will happen after waiting for such a long time. Finally!

Getting ready to go to the hospital. I'm well equipped with an audio book to listen (thanks to a dear friend) and music. Probably couldn't survive without great music: Kent, Mew... And The Radio Dept. of course, it makes me feel so light!

I'm ready. My mind in a quiet prayer.

My New Year's Prayer

This prayer, adaptation of "The New Year" by Martha Snell Nicholson, touched me and it is applicable for me, very literally!

"Dear Lord, as this new year is born
I give it to Thy hand
Content to walk by faith what paths
I cannot understand.

Whatever coming days may bring
Of bitter loss, or gain
Or every crown of happiness
Should sorrow come, or pain.

I only ask, loose not my hand
Grip fast my soul, and be
My guiding light upon the path
Till, blind no more, I see!"

A New Year Full of Hope

The happenings in 2008 which more or less have changed my life, are related to my health. Exactly one year ago I went to see a doctor because of chest pain. Nothing dramatic though, but I was diagnosed with diabetes. It was found by accident, I didn't have the common symptoms.

No reason for a big shock. I knew that I belong to the risk group and I have watched closely in my family how life with diabetes is. I don't really see it as very restricting illness.

The side effects, however, have been a lot worse than the original diagnosis. In the spring last year I had an eye-check, routine for all diabetics, and since then things have exploded. Without having noticed anything, my eyes had developed a very serious diabetic retinopathy, and despite of laser treatments and small operations I have for quite a large part lost my sight.

Hopefully this situation is just temporary. Of course today's medicine can do a lot. Next week I will have a surgery for the worse one of my eyes which has been for some time almost blind. I cherish the hope that it would then get better.

Probably the worst thing is to be unable to work. A while ago I had found my dream job, just started it, but could only work for less than a year before forced to take sickleave. Now I have been disabled for four months. I wish I will recover and be able to get back to work, even though the doctors cannot promise anything. I'm simply too young to sit at home, this is not what I have been studying for...

However, I have faith, a new year has just started, and I want to begin it full of hope!